An introvert in a party

Today, surprisingly, I went to a party my friend was hosting because it’s almost his birthday. I honestly thought that it would be okay since some of my close friends are coming as well. When I got there with my boyfriend, we were the only ones from our circle who had arrived.

I mean, I knew the other people but only by name. I didn’t expect to socialize with people. Recently I’ve been very heavily introverted. If I didn’t like people before, I certainly don’t want to talk to people now. It tires me out. So we kinda spent the whole party just… attempting to avoid people as best as we could.

I brought my camera but I was too shy to take so many photos of people. It kinda sucks being an introvert sometimes.

Here I was, at this pretty cool party with all this beer and alcohol with all these people I could possibly get to know, yet because I’m an introvert, I’d rather not socialize. I avoided talking as much as possible. I ran into a corner with my equally introverted boyfriend and we stayed there taking photos or selfies. It sucks.

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Yeah, we got there pretty early, so no one’s photobombing me yet.

It was a party. An opportunity to get to know other people. These other people probably had pretty cool stories to tell. We could have sit ourselves down and learned more about their lives, exchanged cool stories, or maybe even made a permanent friend. The possibilities are endless. All you have to do is talk.

Just. talk.

“Hi, what’s your name?”

“Cool, so how do you know Sski or Kends?”

Conversation starters. Drinks all around. Listen to people some more. Enjoy the night.

Yet because I wasn’t prepared, because I wasn’t expecting to talk to new people, I was not in the mood and I wanted to go home. It sucked.

You know how I met my friends in college? I socialized. A lot. I went to all our dinners and parties. I studied with them. We drank the night away, laughing at random things. We texted one another frequently. We met up randomly in the day and built ourselves up to our currently level of closeness now.

Even though sometimes I didn’t want to socialize, college expected you to do so. Once I had my permanent set of friends, I stopped socializing with strangers. Why would I want to? The only reason I socialized back then was to actually make close friends.

Back then, I felt like a loser if I didn’t go out to parties or dinners with other people. It felt unnatural to be home by 6:30 pm. I was always out late, sometimes getting home the next day smelling like smoke or alcohol. I was always tired but I had fun too.

Nowadays, I enjoy my nights in. I love spending time watching TV, reading a book, or writing on my blog. I love my friends but it’s hard to spend time with people when it drains you five minutes into the conversation.

Sometimes though, I miss the feeling of jumping in spontaneous roadtrips with friends, running wild into the night, spending hours upon hours just enjoying several people hanging out studying or drinking.

It was fun while it lasted.

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A group of friends, after college. Feb 4, 2017

 

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